


The Adventures of Space Dad

by breeisonfire



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: But here ya go, Deaged Fic, Fluff, I have no idea what I'm doing, space dad fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 12:52:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7268944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breeisonfire/pseuds/breeisonfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shiro's team is already a handful when they're teenagers. He has no idea what to do with them when they've been turned into toddlers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Adventures of Space Dad

**Author's Note:**

> WE ALL KNEW IT WAS COMING WE ALL KNEW SOMEONE WAS GOING TO DO IT
> 
> gOD so I just started writing this last night at like three am so just. Have fun with this. Shiro is #1 Space Dad. I'm still calling Pidge 'he' because I get confused. And also, I have a headcanon that Pidge lied about his age on his application. I don't know why, I just do.
> 
> Edit: Months after the original posting of this fic, I have gone through and changed all of Pidge's pronouns to she. Because I want to, that's why.
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr!](http://drdone.tumblr.com)

This was not happening.

It was yet another diplomatic meeting with a new planet, trying to rally up some support. This planet, Vandia - Shiro had lost track of all of them, he had no idea where the hell they were anymore - had agreed to discuss an alliance. The Vandians were overjoyed to meet the legendary Voltron paladins. They'd been a little too enthusiastic - especially when they'd learned by accident that Shiro had a prosthetic arm.

They'd told them that they had a machine that could regenerate any living organism. They'd offered to regrow Shiro's arm.

Shiro had declined - he wasn't broken and didn't need to be fixed - and had wanted to leave, but Pidge had been wide eyed and had practically begged to see the technology. Shiro was finding it harder and harder to say no to all of his teammates, particularly Pidge, and he'd been assured that no harm would come to them if they demonstrated it for them. Shiro had been wary, but relented when he saw how excited it made Pidge and Hunk. Even Keith was interested.

Sometimes it hit Shiro that they were all just kids, forced into this by accident. They weren't like him; they'd still been at the Academy and relatively innocent. They'd done amazing things, grown into their roles, and Shiro tried to humor them when they found something that excited them, that made them seem like the kids they were supposed to be.

Usually, it was fine. This time, not so much.

The machine had malfunctioned, because of course it had. The Vandians were beside themselves, tripping over each other trying to fix it.

And somehow, Shiro's team had all been turned into toddlers.

"Fascinating," Coran said, kneeling to be eye-level with a very wary Pidge. She looked maybe two years old. "Young Earthlings look so...peculiar."

"Please tell me this is temporary," Shiro said, inserting himself between a squabbling Keith and Lance. Eternal rivals, no matter the circumstances. It was impressive, if Shiro was being honest. Also, incredibly irritating.

"Not to worry!" the Vandian assured him. "We'll have it up and running in approximately...four klicks."

Shiro looked at them, then at Allura and Coran. Then back at them.

"Wonderful."

 

* * *

 

Two hours later, Shiro was about to lose it. Hunk, it turned out, was very clingy. Lance and Keith could not be anywhere near each other and constantly fought for attention. Pidge disappeared the second Shiro took his eyes off of her.

Shiro, holding Lance under his arm and Hunk on his shoulders, with Keith clinging to his left leg, finally found her trying to climb up onto the counter in the kitchen and snagged her before she could get hurt.

"Okay!" he announced. "Nap time!"

Hunk burst into tears. He set off Pidge, and Lance joined in with obviously fake tears. Keith, of course, couldn't be left out.

It was with four very loud toddlers that Shiro made his way to his bunk.

Two seconds after putting them all down on his bed, Lance pushed Keith off the bed. Shiro barely caught him before he hit the ground and Hunk, peeking over curiously, then tipped over, too. Shiro caught him, albeit upside down, and wondered how the hell he'd gotten to this point.

He finally got them settled, Pidge next to Keith and Lance and Hunk on the other end of the bed. Hunk yawned wide and was asleep relatively quickly. Pidge kept trying to crawl over Keith to climb down. Keith was not happy with this arrangement.

"Okay, okay! Stop!" Shiro said, lifting Pidge out of range of Keith's teeth. The kid was apparently a biter. Pidge didn't even seem that upset, looking around from her new perspective with an eager expression. Shiro gave up and lifted Pidge up on his shoulders.

He looked at the other three. Lance had managed to tip over, his head on Hunk's shoulder, both of them fast asleep. Keith was pouting, but he was blinking slowly, like he was fighting to stay awake.

"I should have known the four of you would be trouble," Shiro said quietly. Pidge patted his hair and laughed. "Yeah, yeah, it's very funny."

He tried valiantly to stay awake, but his team was exhausting together when they were teenagers - he stood no chance against them as toddlers. So he dozed off.

And was awoken by an insistent patting on his arm and an unfortunately familiar smell. He opened his eyes to see Hunk, teary-eyed and his pants wet.

 _Oh, Jesus, I am_ not _equipped to deal with this._

 

* * *

 

Feeding them was a _nightmare_. Shiro had nearly forgotten that Hunk had started preparing all their meals so that they were actually edible. He had not passed on his wisdom. Coran and Allura met him in there.

“Nice of you to finally join us,” Shiro said dryly.

“Yes, well, you seem to have them well in hand!” Coran said brightly. “We’ll just -.”

“No,” Shiro said, maneuvering between Hunk and Pidge to hand a very grumpy Lance to Coran. “No. _No_. Help me feed them.”

“I’m not sure we have anything suitable for Earth children,” Coran said. He clearly had no idea how to hold Lance, keeping him at arm’s length. Lance was not helping, giving Coran the stink-eye. Allura seemed to find the whole thing amusing.

“They look old enough to be eating the same food we do,” Shiro said uncertainly. He wasn’t exactly an expert on kids and he didn’t know exactly how old they were. His guess was about two, going off of size, although Hunk was only a bit bigger than Pidge and that didn’t seem right. Lance was actually _smaller_ than Keith. And they didn’t seem to know many words; weren’t two year olds supposed to be able to talk?

Shiro wasn’t sure. _Man_ , he was bad at this.

“Well, we’ll see, won’t we?” Coran said, walking with Lance over to the table and setting him down there. Lance took his chance to escape and went headfirst towards the ground. Shiro dove for him, only barely managing to catch him.

“I am _never_ having kids,” he said, setting a giggling Lance on the ground.

“It looks like you already do,” Allura said, her eyes dancing. “Perhaps we should teach them a game?”

Shiro eyed the kids dubiously (Keith had found a spoon somewhere and was now trying to hit Lance with it). “I think a game might end in tears. Mine, maybe.”

Allura smiled, kneeling on the ground. Hunk reached out a hand and started patting her dress. He seemed enthralled by it.

“They _are_ energetic,” Allura said. “I remember a game from my childhood; maybe it will entertain them?”

“We can try,” Shiro said, grabbing Pidge as she tried to run past. “Getting them to sit still will be a problem.”

Allura put a hand out toward Shiro. He raised an eyebrow, but reached out, grabbing it. She pulled him to his feet and said, “Give me your other hand.”

Shiro did so, and Allura held their joined hands up, like a bridge. Shiro tilted his head.

“London bridge?” he asked slowly.

“What’s London?” Allura asked.

Shiro shook his head. “Never mind. It looks like a game on Earth. London bridge is falling down,” he sang, feeling awkward, but Lance perked up and ran under their arms.

Shiro taught Allura the game. Thankfully, the kids all seemed to know it - although Shiro was pretty sure Keith didn’t really understand what they were doing and Pidge was more interested in what Coran was doing than them - and by the time Coran announced food was ready, Shiro was starting to think that he could handle this.

Until Hunk ate a bite of the food and spit it out - all over Lance. Lance started to cry and when Shiro headed over to clean him up, a glob of goo hit him directly in the ear.

“What?” he said, looking across the room. Keith was holding his spoon and was scooping up more, and launched it before Shiro could stop him. It landed in Pidge’s hair.

“We are _not_ doing this again,” Shiro said, pulling the spoon away from Keith. “Come on, guys.”

Keith started to cry, too, and Coran put his hands over his ears.

“I’ve, uh, just remembered, I left a cryo pod open,” he said, and ran out the door. Shiro rolled his eyes as Hunk scooped another bite into his mouth.

“They are quite a handful, aren’t they?” Allura said, ducking under flying goo.

More goo flew, hitting a still crying Lance in the face. Lance shrieked, his hands coming up to rub at his eyes, and Shiro wondered if there was migraine medication anywhere on board.

“Here,” Allura said, standing. “I can take care of Lance.”

She picked him up, much more at ease than Coran, and gave Shiro a pat on the shoulder.

“You’re doing great,” she said, and walked out the door with Lance. A second after it closed, a glob hit the door. Shiro let out a long sigh as he turned back to the other three. All of them were covered in goo.

“Oh, boy.”

 

* * *

 

Shiro somehow managed to get the three kids clean and carried them to the main room. Coran and Allura were talking to the Vandian lead scientist, who was poking at Lance. Lance was poking back, although the Vandian didn’t seem to mind.

“Good news?” Shiro asked hopefully.

“They wish to test it out,” Allura told him, looking reluctant. “They believe they might have fixed it and want to try it with one of the kids to be sure.”

“No,” Shiro said firmly.

“Sir, we promise no harm will come to this little one,” the Vandian said.

“That’s what you said last time,” Shiro pointed out. “No. I don’t want them anywhere near it until I know it won’t hurt them.”

The Vandian looked insulted, but Allura nodded.

“We don’t mean to offend you,” she said. “We don’t question your intelligence. We only want to make sure it’s safe for our friends.”

The Vandian looked at them, then bowed.

“I shall return later,” they said and walked out the door.

Shiro let out a breath as the door closed behind them. “What kind of game are they playing?”

“They only want to help,” Allura said.

“The machine could have malfunctioned again!” Coran said.

“And it’s better that they stay kids than get hurt,” Shiro added, sitting down. Pidge slid off of his shoulders and start wandering around. Hunk seemed content with staying right next to Shiro on the stairs.

“I agree,” Allura said, watching Pidge. “But we have to be careful. With them in this condition, we’re vulnerable. We can’t form Voltron.”

“And Zarkon could attack at any time,” Shiro said, rubbing his forehead. “Right. Don’t suppose it’d be too much to ask for him to wait until my team grow up.”

He paused, glancing sideways at Lance and Keith. “Age-wise, anyway.”

Allura didn’t bother to hide her smile. “I’m sure the Vandians will figure it out. Until then, I must go prepare to meet with their leader to discuss reparations.”

“Wait, what?” Shiro asked.

“I have much work to do with the engines,” Coran said, gathering up his things. “I heard a suspicious noise when we were landing earlier, and you know what they say, better safe than sorry!”

“Wait, _what_?” Shiro repeated, throwing himself to his feet. “You’re leaving me alone with them again?”

“They adore you, Shiro!” Allura said, hastily moving towards the door. “I’m sure you’ll be fine!”

“You’re a paladin of Voltron!” Coran added. “You’ve handled much worse! Good luck!”

And with that, they were gone, and Shiro resisted banging his head into the wall.

 _Traitors_.

He turned around and looked at the kids.

“Okay, no, don’t touch that,” Shiro sighed, moving to pick Pidge up off the console. He set Pidge back up on his shoulders, and reached down to pull Lance off of Keith. Lance then reached up and pinched Pidge, who yelped and then kicked at Lance.

“Stop that,” Shiro said sternly. He went to pick up Keith, but he’d already latched onto Shiro’s right leg. Hunk followed suit, grabbing his other leg. They gave him innocent looks and Shiro stared at them.

“Fine. Okay. This works. At least my legs are getting a good workout.”

He started walking, albeit very slowly, and wondered why this was happening. Keeping four teenagers in line when you were one yourself was hard enough. How did adults _do_ this?

Against his better judgement, he hunted down some of the writing utensils and pads for the kids to write on and sat with them on the floor in his bunk. It seemed to make them happy enough. Lance was making sound effects with his drawings, which was pretty funny. Hunk was humming as he scribbled.

Shiro picked up a pad and began drawing spiraling circles absentmindedly. He wondered what he was supposed to do next to keep the kids out of trouble. He was at a loss.

He felt someone tapping on his arm and looked down to see Keith, holding his pad up for Shiro. It was covered in scribbles and Shiro got the feeling that he was supposed to know what it was. It looked vaguely like a person standing on top of a boat on top of a mountain.

After a few moments of trying to figure it out, he gave up and asked, “What is it, buddy?”

Keith frowned and pointed at a person. “You.”

“Me?” Shiro asked, looking at the person. “That’s me?”

It didn’t look a thing like him, but it didn’t really matter. Keith nodded, handing Shiro the pad and looking satisfied.

“Thanks, Keith,” Shiro said, staring at the picture. Keith would probably kill him for keeping it when he was turned back, but he figured it was probably worth the risk.

Another pad was shoved in front of his face and Shiro jerked back. Lance was holding his up, making a face at Keith. Shiro looked at his pad. It was one person, with impossibly long legs and a lopsided head, punching a - _is that a moon?_

“Is this me, too?” Shiro asked, and Lance beamed at him. Hunk tugged on Shiro’s shirt and held up a picture that Shiro had thought was of a car at first. Now he could see that it was a lion (or, at least he _thought_ it was supposed to be a lion) with all of it colored in.

And on top of it was tiny stick figure.

“The Black Lion?” he asked. Hunk nodded, leaning back and chewing on his pen.

Pidge joined the group, putting her pad on top of the pile Shiro was already holding and stepping back. Pidge’s drawing was of the castle entirely, with all of them standing out front. They were all stick figures, but Pidge had tried with the hair styles. It looked like Shiro had a star on his head and Shiro bit down his laughter before smiling at Pidge.

“Thanks,” he said. There was a warm feeling spreading through him as he set the pads down on his desk and turned to the kids.

“You want to hear a story?” Shiro asked. “I remember a story my dad used to tell me when I was little. It’s about a space pilot.”

And when the kids all sat down, wide-eyed and eager, Shiro thought maybe he’d be able to do this after all.

 

* * *

 

“Where are they?” Allura asked Coran as she entered the ship. “The device is tested and ready. I saw it myself.”

“I don’t know,” Coran said, looking surprised. “I haven’t seen them all afternoon.”

Allura frowned. Perhaps leaving Shiro with the four rowdy children had been a bit unfair. He’d certainly looked panicked as they’d left. Was everything okay?

“Let’s check his room,” Coran suggested, hurrying down the hallway. Allura followed quickly and soon they were standing outside Shiro’s room. Allura opened the door.

“Oh, my,” Coran said softly.

Shiro was lying on his bed, fast asleep. Pidge was curled up in a ball on the pillow above Shiro’s head while Hunk had his head on Shiro’s shoulder. Lance was sprawled across Shiro’s chest with Keith right next to him. It really was an adorable picture. Allura almost hated to wake them up.

Coran stepped forward quietly, throwing a look at Allura over his shoulder. She just nodded.

“Shiro?” he said. It was barely audible, but Shiro’s eyes snapped open and found Coran. His face softened as he realized who it was.

“S’appening?” he said through a yawn.

“The device is ready,” Allura said. “I saw it tested myself.”

Shiro’s eyes found hers. He looked almost disappointed, but nodded, sitting up slowly.

“It’ll be easier if we don’t wake them up,” he said, getting an arm around both Lance and Keith. Coran looked as if he were pained as he picked up Hunk and Allura lifted Pidge.

“How did you get them to sleep?” Coran asked as they walked down the hallway.

“Earth secret,” Shiro said, but he was smirking at the ground. Allura laughed, leading them out of the castle and to where the Vandians were waiting for them. She almost missed the brief look of longing on Shiro’s face when he set Lance and Keith down. She put her hand on his shoulder as they stepped back and gave him a reassuring smile.

“They’ll be okay,” she said. Shiro nodded.

 

* * *

 

Okay, Lance didn’t know what was going on, but he was _tired_ of waking up and not remembering how he’d got there. It was becoming routine and Lance was not happy. Not happy at _all_.

“Lance?”

That was Shiro’s voice, full of worry. Lance opened his eyes to see Shiro leaning over him. He gave Lance a smile.

“Welcome back,” he said, holding out a hand.

“From where?” Lance took it, letting himself be pulled to his feet. “What _happened_?”

“You don’t remember anything?” Shiro asked.

“No, and it’s getting _really annoying_ ,” Lance said grumpily.

To his surprise, Shiro let out a laugh. “I know how you feel. Come on, the rest of the team’s waiting. I’ll tell you all at the same time.”

The story was not at all what Lance was expecting.

“We were turned into toddlers?” Pidge asked with _way_ too much intrigue in her voice. “That’s amazing!”

“Try embarrassing,” Keith muttered. Lance agreed, though he refused to say that out loud. Or even acknowledge Keith had said anything.

“It’s been a long day,” Coran said. “I had to clean up quite the mess in the kitchen.”

“That’s _all_ you did,” Shiro grumbled.

“Vandia has offered its full cooperation in repayment for what happened,” Allura said. “As well as the promise of a favor.”

“That’s nice of them,” Lance said flatly.

“Well, let’s get on our way,” Coran said, already making his way to the castle. “We don’t want to test fate.”

“So we were toddlers?” Pidge asked. “Were we acting like normal Earth children?”

“As normal as this group can get,” Shiro said. There was something off about his voice. Lance exchanged curious looks with Hunk. Had they missed something?

“How old do you think we were?” Pidge hadn’t noticed, apparently.

“I’m not sure, maybe two?” Shiro said, narrowing his eyes.

Pidge considered that. “All of us were put to the same age?”

“I don’t know, I couldn’t really tell,” Shiro said. “How old are you, anyway?”

“No comment,” Pidge said breezily.

“I’m hungry,” Hunk said, wandering towards the kitchen. “Didn’t you feed us?”

“I _tried_ ,” Shiro said, but Hunk was already through the door. Lance patted Shiro’s shoulder.

“Hey, don’t worry, we’re back to normal now,” he said, then hesitated. “Wait, I _am_ normal now, right? I don’t have any horns or anything, do I?”

“Lance?” Shiro said.

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have horns.”

“Thank God,” Lance said, meaning it.

“I’m going to go do some training,” Keith said. “Anyone wanna join?”

“I will,” Lance said. “Shiro?”

Shiro blinked, then nodded. “Yeah, I - I’ll catch up, okay?”

“Okay,” Lance said, raising an eyebrow. Keith mirrored his expression, but it was soon forgotten as they walked down to the training room.

 

* * *

 

Shiro could hear Lance and Keith bickering as he ducked into his room, and couldn’t help smiling at the sound. He pulled the pads off of his desk, looking at the pictures his team had drawn them for a moment. Then he put them carefully in a drawer, locking it with a code.

He opened the door and stood there for a minute, listening to the sound of Pidge talking nonstop to Coran and Hunk letting out a horrified shout at the state of the kitchen that Coran apparently didn’t clean well enough, and shook his head. His team was ridiculous.

His _family_ was ridiculous.


End file.
